Parashah #18 Mishpatim: "Judgments/ Justices"
Exodus 21:1-24:18
This week's torah portion is comprised of both civil and moral rulings that govern our lives as the people of G-d. Covering everything from animal control to how to treat one's enemies, it paints a picture of true justice. In the midst of these rulings is one we must take special care to keep if we wish to fulfill our length of days here on this earth. Shemot 21:17 says: "Whoever curses his father or mother must be put to death." There are two words for "curse" in Hebrew. The first word, "arur" is intense, meaning "to bitterly curse." The second, "qalal," is also translated as "curse," but it carries the idea of lightly esteeming, holding in contempt, or despising. "Qalal" is the word used in the above quoted passage. Thus, cursing one's parents in this passage is not blatantly wishing them harm. It is the more quiet, insidious attitude of despising one's parents or holding them in contempt.
In today's culture of psychology and self-help, it is common and even acceptable for us to blame our parents for everything wrong in our lives. Instead of taking responsibility for any poor choices we have made, we cite our fathers' and mothers' imperfections. Consequentially, our children learn from our behavior and words. They, in turn, continue the blame game, leaving us shocked and deeply hurt. Scripture is very clear as to how we should treat our parents, and its commands are unconditional. It is true that no parent is perfect, and some have experienced anything from negligence to horrific abuse at the hands of their parents. However, treating our parents with deference by being kind toward them and not flippantly divulging shortcomings that others don't need to know is one of the many ways we walk out our faith. This shows the world that we are a set apart, holy people unto HaShem. In addition, it is showing that we trust Him to make the wrongs right in His timing. If we obey His rulings for our lives, even the difficult ones, we can know for certain that He will be our Healer (Shemot 15:26). As it is written: "Children, what you should do in union with the L-rd is obey your parents, for this is right. "Honor your father and mother" --this is the first commandment that embodies a promise-- `'so that it may go well with you, and you may live long in the Land.'' Fathers, don't irritate your children and make them resentful; instead, raise them with the L-rd's kind of discipline and guidance." (Ephesians 6:1-4) Let us treat our parents as we want our children to treat us.
Shalom uvracha,
Hadassah